Welcome to my crazy world

The following is a true (ahem—approximate) account of a day in the life of The Mother Lode.

3:30—Computer lady comes over.  She is energetic and immediately delves into my computer and its various hiccups and sluggishness.  I am happy.

3:35–Molly comes running in, breathless.  “Caleb made a FLAME THROWER and he’s using it outside!”  Caleb, right on her heels, is wielding a long paper tube like one would find under paper toweling.  It is taped to another one (AHA!  NOW I know who has the masking tape) like a handle.  On the end is a wooden match stick, taped so it’s sticking out of the business end of the flame thrower. I shrug at Molly.  “But he’s spraying SPRAY PAINT when he lights the match!”

I excuse myself while my Computer Angel is cleaning the disk in my hard drive.  Whatever that means.

4:05–C.A. is still working and teaching me a thing or two.  The phone rings.  “MOM!!!  It’s the guy with the ice skates!”  This is of utmost importance as Molly has been bird-dogging for an inexpensive pair of good skates.  And after pricing new ones, I concurred that this call was not one I wanted to miss.

By now, Daniel and Caleb are engaged in a sort of “I know you are but what am I” sort of dialog in the background.  A stack of math workbooks crash to the floor.  I strain to hear the fellow on the phone.  His southern accent is so thick I can scarcely understand him  I *think* we arranged a time to meet but this will need to be confirmed later.

4:17–Somewhere between discussing HP printers and Linksys routers, Daniel appears with another invention.   It is a TV monitor the size of a Chicklet and it is framed in Legos.  “Just hook it up to a DVD player!” and he flashes his smile.  C.A. smiles back.

4:18—Another phone call.  “MOM!  It’s the guy from 4H!  He’s got chicks for me!” Daniel is ecstatic.

Oh, good gravy!  I thought we were too late to get any.  “Hello?” I say, not so certain I want to talk to this fellow.

“Daniel’s name was on a list for chicks.  I’ve got them!”

“HUH?”

“Someone else didn’t want them after all so Daniel’s next on the list.”  Oh, that explains that.  (I found out later that some mom ordered them and when the dad had kittens over her idea and vetoed their arrival.)

“Can we meet tomorrow?” I ask.  The C.A. is trying to get my router to work.  I am watching breathlessly to see if she can get it functioning.

“Nope!  Needs to be now!”  I wander into the kitchen, which, if it were a crime scene it would be described as “having signs of a struggle.”

Someone lets the dog in.  She wants to be petted.

“Lemme call you back,” I say to the guy.  The C.A. needs a password for something.  Bah-bah-bah-bah is all that comes to mind. (I wonder if she can clean my harddrive disk.)

LATER….

The router is fried. The computer is happy.  I am happy.  Jay comes home early (in tax season, this means around 7:00.)   He has the box of chicks.  But Shiny Object/Doting Daddy syndrome hit in the aisles of the Tractor Supply Company.

“You spent HOW MUCH?” I asked.

“Mom!  Daddy bought me a duck!” Molly was beaming.  “Me too!” Caleb said.

This “free” chicken endeavor was cleaning out our bank account.

I enter the garage where the sound of peeping and scratching left me puzzled….was it coming from my own head or not?  Ah!  I’m safe for now…it IS the chicks.

Molly begins fabricating a “Playpen” for her duck.

Jay explains that there were extra chicks that were leftover and that’s why there are 36 of them.

By now Daniel has them piled into MY large plastic tub that I’ve used for storing clothes.  Used to anyway.   The peeping and chirping has reached a new decibel level as the kids are picking them up.

I wander into my Signs of Struggle kitchen.  Evidence of my earlier trip to Costco and Wal-Mart are all over the place.  There is milk spilled over the floor.  (How many times must I tell you kids NOT to put the milk there for the cat?)

And I consider, as I reach for a longneck bottle of my other favorite brewed beverage….yep….thinks are about normal around here.

PS….If I’m a little slow in getting emails answered….please reference the above…