Idolatry in the Lode home

Yes….it is my confession.  Every Tuesday night, we gather in the living room around the lighted box and tune out all other distractions to focus and consider…..and watch American Idol.

We are Idol fans here.  We LOVE that show.  We love clapping for the winners and roaring at Simon’s dead pan criticism.  And even more so when some of the contestants just don’t get it. (“My mom says I’m a good singer.”)

One of the, er, high points last night was the little gal who sang, “Loving You” by Minnie Riperton.  I knew the ship was taking on water the minute she stated her selection.  Anyone who even mentions that song should be placed in front of a firing sq…well, maybe that’s a bit extreme.  Perhaps just a room of chalkboards with a bunch of people scraping their  fingernails.   (“I even hit the high note,” she said in a gush of tears.  We know, honey.  We know.)

I told Jay maybe we should have our own reality show, “The Audit.”  I set the stage for him: Jay Lode leads a team of crackerjack CPA’s to flush out financial malfeasance, restoring balanced books and sussing out efforts to pilfer from the company.  I even came up with a clever tagline- “Only food should be cooked…..”

“Picture it Jay,” I said.  “The camera pans to the back room where a cadre of pasty faced accountants sit under the fluorescent lights where an audit takes place.”

Jay caught the vision and added, “And then one of them looks up and asks, ‘Can you provide me supporting documentation for this invoice please?’” (Cue to foreboding music…)

Okay.  Maybe that’s not the best idea.

But today, I may have my one little American Idol moment as, I, yes, moi, am speaking to an agent today.

I had this in mind last night watching Idol.  Will this fellow tell me in a British accent, “I’ve heard enough already!”

Will I need a couple of women to rush to my aid while I weep when it’s all over? (You can write okay honey, it’s just you’re not cut out for the publishing industry, they would say. Or will I be doing the happy dance screaming, “I’M GOING TO RANDOM HOUSE!!!!!”

Okay.  The Mother Lode is probably not quite ready for the likes of Random House.  But maybe if I promise not to sing “Loving You”?

I’ll keep you posted….