ADHD and tired parents

Every so often I get emails from parents looking for a word of help or encouragement.  The stories are shockingly similar and usually revolve around a frustrating situation at school.  Perhaps they’ve been ambushed a  teacher or two insisting their kid needs medication….or the attentional issues keep the kid in constant trouble.  (And my heart goes out to the teachers, too.)

The kids are frustrated and the parents are tired….and scared too.  Even though we educate our kids at home, I can totally relate to their struggles.  Here’s an excerpt of an email I wrote to one parent recently.  I’ve altered details to maintain their privacy.

I  can appreciate your struggles with your child.  And holy smokes!  The way they ambushed you at school is terrible.  But sadly, yours is a story I hear regularly.  The same ole same story of attempts to get a round peg into a square hole….all the while insisting there’s something wrong with them…not the stupid hole.

 But you know that already.  I think for us, we’ve had to fundamentallly shift our ideas of what education is.  Starting from that basis makes the details easy to sort out.   And I believe the basis for true education begins with asking “Who is my child?”

 

For instance….is your daughter destined for college?  Is there a strong academic bent there already indicating the need for a college prep school?  Or is she hands on and tend to drift toward mechanical things like my now 14-year-old?  (I had a friend in high school who excelled in auto shop!)

 

I’m not saying you’ve got to figure this stuff out right now; I mean, she is only 10-years-old!  But as a parent, you certainly already have a sense of her giftings and talents.

 

This stuff can be easier said than done because there is a TREMENDOUS pressure in our culture as to how a child should be schooled.  (Notice I didn’t say “educated. )

I know I regularly have panic attacks over if I’m doing the right thing or not.  And that’s when I stop back and assess things: Is he learning practical skills for life?  Can he read well?  Is he curious?  Of good character?  Will his training here and now equip him to support his family in 10 or so years?

 

These questions are far more important to me that what grade he would get on a history test.  Because let’s face it….unless your child’s goal is to be a contestant on “Do You Know More Than a Fifth Grader” most of the information they dump into their heads will long be forgotten 2 weeks after the test. 

 

I don’t know if this is helpful to you or not.  You sound like a very attentive loving parent.  My biggest word of advice to parents: Trust your gut.  I think God leads us far more than we realize because we are constantly doubting ourselves and succumb to fear