To my puzzled Tennessee friends

Here’s a few observations from Jeff Foxworthy.  Here’s a few of his astute observations…and it may help explain to my Tennessee friends why we may seem a bit strange.  (My thoughts are added in, btw.)

If “vacation” to you means going shopping for the weekend in
Great Falls , Billings or Bozeman (while the kids swim at the
Comfort Inn), You might live in Montana . For us, this meant The Wingate Inn in Bozeman.  Costco shares the same parking lot.  Those city planners were smart, eh?

If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord,
You might live in Montana . Or I might add….if you’ve ever had to scrape the windows WHILE driving…you might live in Montana.

If you’re proud that your state makes the national news
Primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation,
You might live in Montana . You haven’t lived until you’ve experienced a week straight of minus twenty temps.  And BTW- Cut Bank, close to where we used to live…has the dubious distinction of having the coldest temp ever recorded in the contigious states.  It was that year that we lost our minds and began planning our trip south.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through
March, You might live in Montana . You missed this one, Jeff…it’s closed from September to April.  Or is it May?

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You
Might live in Montana . You think he’s joking here, don’t you?

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You
Might live in Montana . Yep, yep, yeppity yep….

If you know how to correctly pronounce Butte , You might live
In Montana . Here’s a hint: It’s NOT BUTT.  And while I’m at it, it’s Hel Ah Nah not Hee-Lean-uh or Hel-leen-nah.

If you measure distance in hours, You might live in Montana ..As in…it takes 7 fricken hours to get out of the state…IF it’s not snowing.

If you know several people who have hit deer more than once,
You might live in Montana . Ah yes, one of my favorite memories.  The deer I hit in DOWNTOWN Helena.

If you often switch from “heat” to “A/C”in the same day and
Back again, You might live in Montana . What? You think this is a joke too?

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
Raging blizzard, without
Flinching, You might live in Montana . This is DEFINATELY not me.  But lemme tell you….You’d better watch out for Chrissy on the roadways….She’s one tough mama.

If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,
You might live in Montana . And that’s why I tell people that if I’ve got buttons on my shirt, I’m dressed up.

If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at
Wal-Mart at any given time, You might live in Montana . And they’re real easy to spot- the frozen exhaust that hangs suspended in air is so pretty to see.

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a
Snowsuit, You might live in Montana . I recommend expedition gear from Patagonia before Trick or Treating.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
Winter and road construction, You might live in Montana . Or it keep it simple. two seasons—winter or Fourth of July.  (And the latter is still questionable.)

If the sunbelt to you means Miles City , You might live in
Montana . You silly, Jeff….we call this the Banana Belt.  They only have EIGHT months of winter.

If you find 0 degrees a little chilly, You might live in
Montana . And this, my dear friends is why I’ve been laughing hysterically over the school closings here in Middle Tennessee today.  (And also the reason why we are no longer there.)

So there you have it.  Because, even though we’ve lived here 3 years now and Tennessee is a wonderful place to live- I’m still a Montana girl.  Hope this provides a little insight….