Yesterday we had an appointment with the orthodontist. Our dentist all three of them had “issues.” And with fear and trembling we approached the entrance. The kids aren’t nuts over someone messing with their teeth and I’m not nuts over someone messing with my bank balance.
“Remember, we’re a nice normal family,” I hissed to the children as I opened the door. Of course, the orthodontist might not buy the ruse after he reads Caleb’s “Tell Me About Yourself!” section on the new patient form.
It read in his crisp printing: Favorite food? MONKEY CHOW Favorite Sport? PRESTIDIGITATION Favorite Activity? DENIAL
At least he didn’t put down “Squirrel” under favorite food like Daniel had done. (That I made him change.)
We were led into the consultation room which, I noted, had a couch with pillows. “This is for when the parents pass out looking at the estimates, heh-heh-heh” I said. The assistant smiled.
She stepped out for a moment and I used the opportunity to remind Daniel that he was NOT going to place the mousetrap he brought with him on the chair controls.
The orthodontist was a fun likeable fellow and his conclusion was, yes, all three of the lil darlings need orthodontics. The office manager would be in to discuss cost, he said. Smart guy. Let someone else do the dirty work.
I asked Daniel if I could have one of his mousetraps but Jay flashed me a nasty look.
The lady came in and placed the estimates out on the table. She pointed at the figures with her pen in a style reminiscent of a used car sales man. Only I knew she wouldn’t be running back to the boss to see if we could whittle down the cost a bit.
Jay and I discussed the options on the way home.
1. I could sell a kidney. We take our debt free lifestyle very seriously.
2. We could teach the kids to speak with a British accent; that would explain their smiles.
3. Vamos a Mexico! This option’s looking better and better. For less than half the cost of orthodontics and other dental work, we could have a nice holiday AND get the work done. One clinic quoted $600 for braces. Of course, finding a local orthodontists to continue the treatment could be a bit tricky. My investigation will continue.
Daniel is relieved that we’re unable to do anything right now. He muttered something about not needing wire snippers. Molly is a bit disappointed…she had already picked out the designer colors for her braces. And Caleb….well, he was indifferent. Or perhaps it was denial. That’s his favorite activity, you know. Perhaps I should join in his fun.
Filed under: humor | Tagged: braces, mexican dental clinics, orthodontics, Orthonotics
